Getting Old [Closed; Xavier, Ryn]
As Clovis paused and recollected himself, Xavier continued to stroke his back. He took one last lungful of his lost lover’s scent, and felt Clovis’s grip release. Xavier was glad that Ryn decided to join them, it was… well, it made his aching heart beat a little warmer.
As it turned out, apparently, with all other stressors eliminated, Xavier’s affection for Clovis was as healthy as ever, but he was worried of what would happen without the tiny pokemon’s assistance. Would Clovis be okay? Would his plan hold through? … Would Ryn be okay…?
There it was, the pitch to his stomach, the reason he didn’t cut his losses and go it alone. Ryn was right, he could have made it after Clovis just fine on his own, he could have bared the flight, nursed himself to health, and chase the boy down all on his own.
But he didn’t.
Because, deep down, somewhere in the scarlet depths of his heart, an admiration for Ryn had always been there, and had never been truly extinguished. When he asked him to go with him, he had thought they’d maybe, just maybe get closer. When he dozed on Ryn’s shoulder, his heart gave twists and flutters like an airborne swellow. There was a place in his heart, in lieu of striking Ryn, that hated the fact that all of them being together could be that simple.
Most of all, he feared that all this information he realized would be lost should the tiny pokemon lose her grip. He feared a lot of things. But, love doesn’t shut off like a light, and dreams don’t turn to dust. He’d remember. He’d have to.
So, as Clovis murmured his goodbyes, Xavier closed his eyes, a sad smile to his lips and a broken look to his eyes as he swallowed, nodded, and let his arm slowly go limp.
Its okay. Xavier thought, just relishing Clovis’s company. We’ll have this sorted out soon.
Ryn’s heart practically leapt at the touch, looking up from the floor and staring at Clovis’ hand grasping his own. Without a second thought, he gave Clovis’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze— a confirmation of ‘I’m still here’ or an ‘it’s alright’. The fact that Clovis’ tears began to subside soon after made him feel a little accomplished for it.
Except… He felt ashamed, too, the feeling only barely muted by Chamomile’s aura.
And how else could he feel? After everything he’d been thinking, after how much his mind was trying to convince himself that leaving could be the only solution… and now he was acting like he wouldn’t go through with it. Could he even go through with it? Hell, should he..? He’d come up with the idea and had repeated it like a mantra under the influence of a calmed mind, sure, but.. Calm didn’t always equal rational. It wasn’t a perfect solution for any of them, and he still had enough sense to know that.
But without that idea, rational or not, what else could they possibly do..? Stay in stasis forever? He’d already admitted that he’d rather the two of them get back together than try and force Clovis to pick between them, and.. that his own feelings on the matter weren’t important, in the end. He felt selfish trying to think otherwise.
Yet, he didn’t make any move to pull away. Not until Clovis himself did, at which point Ryn abashedly averted his gaze back to the ground, bringing his hand close to his chest and hiding his conflicted inner thoughts from the other two as best he could.
He sighed. Xavier was right— they needed to try and sleep on this. Now wasn’t the time for having second thoughts. He glanced at Chamomile, waiting for the shiny little Sylveon to release them, murmuring a quiet, “..t-take care of yourself,” in place of a goodbye.
"Thanks…y-you too," Clovis said with a small nod, gently pressing the elevator button beside him. "M-make sure you guys eat, and stuff…d-don’t….run yourselves ragged….."
He wiped his eyes again as Mada and Patronus drew near, the Pokemon glancing at the other two boys before disappearing into their respective Pokeballs, their job here done. Chamomile gradually lessened the amount of aura she poured into the boys, slowly letting go of their wrists altogether when the elevator finally dinged.
Clovis stepped into the elevator, trying not to move too quickly, feeling himself starting to want to withdraw from the world for a bit now that Chamomile’s aura was no longer flowing through him. He hit the button, and scooped the tired shiny Sylveon up into his arms, grateful for her comforting warmth. His eyes, which had been glued to the floor, drifted up to drink in the image of the two most important people in the world as the doors started to close.
His hand flashed out at the last moment, catching the doors and stopping them from shutting completely. He poked his head out timidly, his guts twisting up. He knew what he was doing, but…he wasn’t sure why, exactly. ”U-um,” he stammered, “I-I’ll….t-text you, when I go to take on Drayden, or something…”
With that said, he quickly drew back, his hand going back to grip Chamomile once again. The doors began to close once more, and he tried to give Xavier and Ryn one last smile.
He sighed when he saw his reflection in the shiny metal doors, his heart plummeting with the descent of the elevator. He looked just as depressing as ever.